I used to wear an annoying long and pale face. That countenance stuck to me like a tattoo. At times, it lasts for an hour, a day or more. Irrespective of the length of time I wear that gloomy mask, it only symbolizes that I was unhappy, depressed or both.
Is that your predicament? Do you wear a pale mask that hides the anger in your heart?
Do you really know why you are unhappy?
Come on. Before you read on, think and jot something down.
Why are you unhappy and depressed?
The essence of this article isn’t just for you to read on, but for you to actually identify the source of your unhappiness, unleash it and give it a neck-breaking smack-down.
Unhappiness and unreleased anger are two of the sources of depression. So if you’re unhappy, the chances of being depressed are high. In line with what you’ve written down, these are 7 of the top reasons why you are unhappy and depressed. Approach them squarely and earn yourself a cure.
This used to be my biggest challenge. I’d toss and turn incessantly on the bed, trying to imagine the negative stuffs that the future holds for me. It got to the apex when I was about writing my final college exams.
I had so many fears that I might fail and would eventually repeat that semester. Such thought relegated me to a state of depression. I couldn’t study, neither could I socialize. But at a point, I had to knock off such thoughts. I had to ask myself, “What is the worst that can happen?”
Yea, ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? That’s where you need to start from. For me, the worst was that I was going to repeat that semester. But how was worrying going to stop it from happening? No way.
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When I realized this, I picked up my ass off the bed, studied until they was nothing left to study. And guess what, I passed.
Worry doesn’t solve anything. It only takes you to a art studio where you paint all sorts of negative unhappy images that can never come into reality unless you allow it.
No matter how bad life is, being happy is your right and decision to make.
2. The Past
A young lady got raped a couple of years ago. The trauma was intense and it had an unending negative effect on her. She would often sit alone and recount the bitter ordeal she had to go through that night. She was a victim of the tyranny of man.
Five years down the line, she is still living in fear and regrets. She is occasionally unhappy and depressed. For her, life has no meaning and she believes that the incident had eroded her of luster of happiness.
But one thing she forgot was that happiness is not external, it’s internal. Though the rapist made her a victim five years ago, today she consciously allowed herself to remain a victim by living in the pains of yesterday.
Your past is gone. Although the consequences may remain, you must embrace today and live it independently of yesterday. Joyce Meyers would never have been as influential as she is today if she lived in the memory of the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her father while growing up.
SEE ALSO: HOW TO STOP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
You might not have been responsible for all the ills that others did to you, but you’re responsible for how you live your life now. Take charge, make the right decisions.
3. Holding A Grudge
The funny thing about holding grudges against others is that they are often happy and unaware of the sadness of our hearts while we walk around with gloomy unhappy faces. You’ve got to understand that as long as you remain on earth, people are going to do or say annoying stuffs to you.
No one will ever overgrow that stage, even if you’re America’s President. Allowing someone’s words to determine your happiness is synonymous to self-imposed slavery.
Who are those you’re holding grudges against? Are they even aware of it? Most probably they’re not.
What if they are aware, is that a good enough reason to hurt yourself with the venom of unhappiness and depression?
What you need is an antidote: you need to forgive and forget the wrongs. It’s not easy. Yes, it’s not. But it will make you stronger knowing that people cannot decide over your life by influencing your mood swings.
4. Being Rigid And Non-Tolerant
Appreciating the fact that everyone is wired differently can really help you salvage your relationship with others.
One of the greatest sources of unhappiness and depression is lack of tolerance. You believe that your principles for daily living are the best. So you get irritated easily when someone does things that are not consistent with your rules and principles.
People act according to their degree of knowledge. The mad man on the streets can eat all sorts of dirty stuff because his mental condition thinks those stuff are best for him. In the same manner, your friends, families and everyone act according to their degree of knowledge.
You must develop yourself to a level where you can tolerate and appreciate their differences. No two persons are exactly the same. Being happy is a choice.
5. Comparing to Other People wrongly
While growing up, my momma will often compare my academic performance with that of other kids in the neighborhood. She did that each time I came back home with poor grades. It made me sick and felt like a dullard. But surprisingly I never felt inferior to them. As time went on, I developed a thick skin against her words because I knew my life was beyond some poor grades in 8th grade.
Comparison can be a source of strength and motivation if you have a strong self-esteem. Otherwise, it will damage your self-esteem and tailor your mindset towards being inferior to others.
You need to stop comparing yourself with others if it will eventually make you unhappy and depressed. Look for things to motivate you. Your goals in life and preparations are different from that of others. In the same way, your purpose for living is different.
Never ever allow another man’s success to make you feel inferior. Continue your journey at a good pace and you’ll arrive your life’s destination in due time. You can only be unhappy and depressed at your will because happiness is a choice.
6. Being Pessimistic
When the rains falls, what do you see: a messy day or a cool day?
When the sun shines too bright, do you only feel the hotness on your skin, or do you also appreciate the fact that it isn’t snowy?
Your happiness in life is also tied so much to how you explain things around you. A pessimist will always see the negative side of things without giving credence to the bright side.
When you think bad of every situation, you’ll definitely be unhappy and depressed. Try to see things from the positive perspective. Whether you failed a test or your car broke down, choose to dwell on the positive side of life.
7. Making Life Harder Than It Has To Be
In high school, we had that colleague who always cries even when he scores 98/100. His only definition of success is 100/100. Ironically, I was satisfied and overjoyed by having just 70 while some other guys would leap for joy if they narrowly escape the 50 mark.
Why make life unnecessarily harder for you by setting outrageously tough goals.
Everyone knows how hard times are. The economic downturn is taking its pound of flesh from every nation. But why allow it take 10 pounds from you while others are giving away just one pound each?
Don’t wear looks that suggest that the whole world is crumbling on you. Set achievable goals that can put a smile on your face always. Define happiness for yourself and let it relate with your current status.
Life is a choice. Every step we make is predicated on conscious and unconscious decisions. Happiness is one of the best choices you can make daily. Never allow anything steal it from you because you deserve it.
Photo Credit: Ifunanya Onuzuluike