That was a question I asked a friend recently. He is into a business partnership and wants to pull out just because one of the partners got him angry. With a shock on my face, I asked him the million dollar question: “Do you understand the meaning of commitment?”
The American society and the Western world generally has infamously made the term, divorce a household name. Funny enough, it seems like the number of celebrity divorces are more than marriages.
Once celebrities get married, their fans unconsciously start looking forward to their divorce.
This trend makes me wonder if people really understand the meaning of commitment. Commitment is a serious business and should be treated as one. It is an agreement that one makes with determination in view of a definite result.
Making any form of commitment means you’ve weighed the pros and cons and you’re ultimately resolved at seeing that things work out positively. Commitment is not a decision that should be made emotionally.
As a matter of fact, when you make great decisions in tears, the consequences will dawn on you when the tears are dried up.
Marriages, relationships, partnerships, deals, bilateral trades and truces fail every now and then because people fail to understand the basic requirements of commitments.
10 Tips To Consider Before Making Commitments
1. Don’t Get Emotional
I need to resound it again and again. Don’t get emotional with commitments of any sort, most especially marriage and business deals. People often say that “love is blind, but I believe challenges will restore the sight.” Ensure you are psychologically, mentally and emotionally alert when making commitments.
2. Don’t Be Sentimental
Your Yes should remain Yes. Don’t allow circumstances to force you into making decisions that you’ll finally regret. If you are making a commitment to deliver a job to someone at a set date and time, ensure you’re not doing so because you were “sweet talked” into it or because you want to please someone.
Don’t allow yourself to be coerced into making commitments. On the long run, you and your loved ones will bear the bulk of any repercussions.
3. Do your research.
Have you done your background study? This is one of the first things to do. A whole lot of things look good at first sight, but you need to understand that there are depths deeper than the depth of a building’s foundation. Ensure you do your homework before you say Yes to anyone.
4. Sleep Over It
Stress, disposition and environment can directly affecting decision making. Learn not to say yes until you’ve properly thought about it. Most times, the weight of a matter always dawns upon us hours after we first heard of it. So why don’t you wait until you’ve taken a nap before you give your final decision on a matter?
Any commitment that is not worth thinking about may not be worth making after all.
5. Plan Your Sacrifices
Commitment require sacrifices. Yes, it will come in one form or the other. If you’ve not identified the sacrifices you are going to make in that next big decision, that is a pointer that you’ve not really thought about it properly. Sacrifices can be huge or tiny. Either ways, identify it and see if it is something you’re expressly willing to offer.
6. Cross And Break The Bridge
Ain’t kidding you. If you want to achieve success in a commitment, then you just have to go all in. The reason why commitments fail is because people feel they’ve got an escape route. Come on, if you enter into that marriage wholeheartedly and break the exit bridge, you’ll certainly do all you can to make it work. The option of divorce shows you’ve not broken the bridge yet.
7. Wear Your Integrity Jacket Always
Your word is your bond. Anyone who lacks integrity can’t see a commitment through. Let your Yes remain Yes in the morning, afternoon, night, summer and winter. Be consistently responsible for every word you say.
Most importantly, don’t use the phrase, “I promise” when you don’t mean it.
8. Be Tolerant To Disappointments
Plan to deal with disappointments but don’t look forward to experiencing them. You’ve to structure how to adequately deal with any form of “worst case scenarios” that may come up in any commitment you’ll made.
Knowingly that disappointments are probably inevitable, you must learn to groom the virtue of tolerance in you. However anticipating faults and disappointments will make you belittle and lose trust in your partners, and that will negatively affect your commitments.
So there’s got to be a balance. Don’t always expect people to make mistakes, but be tolerant when they do.
9. Be The First
Be the first to initiate any good thing you want to see. If you want to be loved, then love first. If you want be trusted, you’ve got to trust wholeheartedly. People have different level of reasoning and may not know what is expected of them until you’ve shown them.
If you’ve got a housemate that keeps the room untidy, teach him how to tidy things up by doing it first. Actions speak louder than words.
10. Be Vulnerable
You might probably think I’m crazy for suggesting this. LOL. But I’m not. Vulnerability means transparency and honesty. Don’t be scared that you won’t be appreciated when your “real you” gets exposed.
Actually, people appreciate more when you open up. I recently met an online friend who has been tutoring me on a specific business. And he so respects me simply because I came out straight to tell him that I didn’t know much about the business in spite of my bogus portfolios.
The success of commitments lie in our hands. We’ve got a responsibility to shape the future that we dream of and to frame the reality we always want to enjoy.
Please feel free to use the comment box to let me know how this article inspired you.