Emotion forms the intrinsic makeup of humans. One beautiful thing about it is that, it’s not a respecter of social status, gender or age. Everyone has emotions and once its tap has been opened, it is always difficult to close. It is the integral element that fuels an intimate relationship.
It’s actually more difficult to break up from an Intimate relationship than any other form of relationship due to the high surge of emotions that has been injected into it. Besides basic emotions, an intimate relationship is highly romantic. You can’t separate it from romance. That is actually the main reason why it is more difficult to call off.
Come on, it’s definitely not easy to let go of someone who has had the best understanding of how your body works, as well as being the holder of the remote that turns on your sexual sensitivity. You’ve given him/her total access to your emotional psychology and revoking such access is practically difficult.
However, the good news is that it’s not totally impossible to breakup from such relationships. One of the first things that is needed to actualize this goal is determination. You must be determined to do whatever is rationally possible to accomplish this task. Without the element of determination, the following steps will amount to nothing.
1. Don’t Be In A Hurry
The mistake most people make is to hurriedly call off intimate relationships immediately they find the need to. Funny enough, such people hurriedly go back to those relationships almost immediately after they called it off.
Once you’ve identified the need to call the shot, gradually think things through. Take a couple of days to ensure that you’re not calling it off because someone else advised you to, but because you’re truly fed up with it. If the decision is externally motivated, it won’t successfully pull through. Ask yourself, “what do I really want?”
2. Open Up To Someone
The emotional tsunami that you will be ushered into immediately you call off an intimate relationship may be too heavy for you to bear alone. It is also very difficult to pull it through on your own without the backup of someone dear.
I know it may be difficult to trust people. You may not want people to have access to information about your love life and challenges. But trust me, this is one of those times when you need to trust someone. Such a person can be a mentor, family, counselor, spiritual head, or close friend.
Opening up also gives room for accountability. You would want to stay true to your decision because you’re sure there is someone that will definitely ask you about it.
3. Approach Your Partner
Book a meeting with your partner and inform him/her of your decision.
WARNING: For best results, don’t meet him in his/her apartment or yours. Most preferably meet at an open place where there will be no room for intimate activities like kisses, smooches and deep hugs.
The reason is that, it’s possible for you to get so emotional and fall pray for another romantic escapade that will eventually keep you trapped in the relationship once more.
Rid yourself of every emotional weakness and if possible, don’t even allow a tear drop from your eyes. Make your decision known with sincere reasons. Also make it known that you’ll keep your distance considerably until the heat it down. Don’t give room for much discussions afterwards, leave immediately you’re done.
4. Cut Communication Wires
At this point, the guy or lady whose heart you just broke will start calling on phone. Most likely, you’ll receive a number of text messages that will try to remind you of the good times you guys shared. The aim is to make you have a rethink and eventually change your decision.
No matter how strong you can be, such beautiful words may eventually cut deep into your heart. Like a virus it will affect your entire emotional system, weaken your bones and leave you depressed. After which, you’ll come running back with a tearful apology.
To avoid this from happening, cut off every form of communications with him/her. Don’t take calls, don’t read messages and don’t respond to any invitation for a meeting. You can block the phone number if the calls becomes incessant.
Hey, I’m not asking you to make him/her an enemy. Rather, you just need to play safe from a reasoble distance until the heat of the breakup is down.
Never forget that intimacy grows via communication.
5. Get Your Mind Occupied With Something Else
Don’t wet your pillow with a river of tears. You need to be strong and move on with your life. Nonetheless, you don’t need to pretend that nothing happened in your life. No. Pretense won’t help you.
Rather live your life with the consciousness that you just made a big decision with futuristic benefits. Look at the big picture. Place everything about the relationship in an archive in your past. Whenever it pops up in your head, simply remind yourself that the relationship and its pleasures have been locked away in the past. Get something else to occupy your mind in the present.
An idle mind is forever the devil’s workshop.
If you don’t engage yourself with something more productive, you’d see yourself going down the valley of depression.
Something productive could be fun time with friends, timeless study or dedicated time at work. The summary is: Be Busy!
6. Avoid Things That Will Remind You Of The Past
Things like romantic movies should be archived because they will tempt you to take a glimpse of your ex-lover. Also delete romantic texts and close up pictures that has to do with your ex.
7. Put yourself in better companies
No one is an island. You will definitely need people to fill up the vacuum in your life. This time around, be careful not to give in to intimacy and romance. Beware of people that will want to take advantage of your single status to win you over. Allow yourself to be in the company of sincere friends with no strings attached.
A lot of people survived breakups, and I believe you can do same too. Yes, you can!
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