Secure That Relationship And Don’t Break Up


Yesterday was really a busy one for me. I stopped by at the nearest ICT hub in my neighbourhood, and I ran into a number of buddies. We spent a large chunk of time having fun. We talked about a whole lot of stuff like career, family, business, faith, the society and a bunch of other stuff. What inspired this article was my time with those amazing guys.

One of them worships with the House On The Rock, Lagos, which is led by Pst. Paul Adefarasin. He narrated a scenario the pastor painted for them sometime ago. The pastor stopped by at a popular mall to pick up a couple of things. On seeing him, some of his church members who were in the mall, ran towards him and took loads of selfies with him. He happily posed for the shots with them before he continued with his shopping.

Pst. Adefarasin is a renowned preacher in the Christian circles and I wouldn’t have failed to have a shot with him too, but the minister showed us a flaw in that mentality. In as much as he was happy he saw members of his congregation, he expected more from them. They don’t have a personal relationship with him beyond the regular “pastor-congregation” connection and they’ve not had a time with him outside the confines of the church.

So he was expecting that the occasion was a rare opportunity to establish a better relationship with those youths. Though, he is their pastor, but he hoped that they would have asked for something more challenging than a selfie, perhaps a question regarding career, family, academics or just anything impactful.

Mark Zuckerberg was in Lagos last year, many entrepreneurs got inspired, Andela (a tech startup) got a whooping $24 million investment from his foundation. A host of young application developers got sponsorships for heightened trainings, yet some other persons after struggling through the traffic in Lagos, got close enough just to take selfies with him that were eventually uploaded on Facebook.

We were thought in elementary science that one of the ways of making a new magnet is by continuously rubbing a metal against the poles of a magnet. Gradually, the metal starts to gain the magnetic properties. A metal that chooses to take a selfie with a magnet, will only have the picture as a souvenir of an encounter that would have transformed him into a king in the dynasty of magnetism.

The same applies for success. The feature photo above shows some of Nigeria’s richest men enjoying a company with themselves. Little wonder that the rich gets richer. They cherish every relationship with the right people. They keep the right relationships. They build on them, and they protect them with all they’ve got, because they know that each of those relationships are valuable contacts to credible success doors when the need arises.

I used to tell my friends on campus that every student we had the opportunity to meet during our stay in the varsity is a potential success story. We charged each other on the need to maintain communication with those good guys. One of them may end up becoming just a member of the security details of the Senator whose signature you might need for a million naira contract. You might have thought less of him, but he has the persuasive capacity to help you get that signature.

As a matter of fact, you may not be “friends” with someone, but ensure that there is a relationship. The relationship may be as poor as “Hi, good morning”. Just ensure that there is a communication link with a reasonable number of the good people you see out there. I never fail to send a goodwill message to the 410 contacts on my phone at least twice in a year, not just because I honour them, but also because they may eventually play very important roles in my journey to the top. Be presentable and polite, and never fail to build a relationship with any man behind the success stories you love.

Selfies will give you likes and comments on social media, but good relationships will give you wings to soar high in the full view of the media.


  1. wow….. indeed every human is a potential success to benefit from. I have to do some updating on my relationship goals. Thanks Notemast!

  2. So true. We no longer take time to build relationships. And on another note, these too people get lonely at times and will be more than willing to relate with us, but most times, we are usually satisfied with selfies.

    That’s too bad.

    Thanks for pointing that out.

    • That’s very true. We often think that people of great influence are unapproachable. But in reality, they are almost always willing to impact knowledge on those that are available.

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