Most problems in life including failures are not far from self-esteem issues. Out of high and low self-esteem comes confidence, boldness, timidity, pride and humility. It is a crucial factor that promotes selfishness and selflessness.
While everyone preaches against selfishness, it shouldn’t be a reason for you to devalue yourself. I can write experientially of this because at some point in my life, I was unappreciative of myself and wanted to be someone else.
When knowledge and wisdom lighted upon the delicate fabric of my life, I came to realise that there was something so amazing about me that no one else can ever have even in a hundred years.
It took me quite a whole lot of time to eventually start valuing myself, but in the end, I’ve realized that I’m be best person that can value me.
— Nonso Nwagbo
These seven self-esteem nuggets will certainly change the way you view yourself.
1. Stop Comparing Yourself
Comparison is an act that usually leads to blind judgement, because it makes you loss sight of your strength in a bid to understand how you cannot measure up with someone else strength.
It has a negative effect on people, especially those with a low self-esteem. We tend devalue ourselves and lose focus of where we are headed in life because we feel we are not good enough.
Comparison usually comes in when vision is lacking or is lost. Know where you are going and focus on the journey. Every other person has their unique abilities or attributes just like you do. Learn to focus on your own unique abilities and appreciate them instead of wishing you had bread when you’ve not discovered the breakfast in front of you.
2. Don’t Settle For Less
Life is too good to settle for less. There are better things to do, better things to achieve, better people to relate with, better things to possess.
You deserve the best life can offer, you deserve to be happy but it’s all in your hands to decide what you want and how to get it. Do not settle for anything less. There is definitely something better than that.
Know what you want and go for it. Determine to get the best out of everything. Doing that alone, adds value to your life.
3. Start Appreciating
Focus on your strength. Consciously appreciate yourself and what you do. When you do so, you begin to value yourself. What you say is what you will eventually become, what you say will eventually become a reality to you.
Be confident in who you are and what you have to offer. This will pattern the way you talk, behave.
Remember when you appreciate yourself, people will appreciate you. People value you when they see the value you give yourself.
4. Build Healthy Relationships
No man is an island, we need people to help us achieve our dreams and become better. Make friends with people who appreciate you and what you can offer, friends who encourage your dreams and bring you up, people who boost your confidence. Identify with people who constantly add to your life in one way or the other.
In all of these, make sure you add value to the other parties so you won’t just be a receiver or a parasite. It should be a relationship where both parties benefit from each other. This is highly important to maintain your respect or value.
5. Start Saying No
Sometimes, we try to please people at our own expense simply because we are scared to lose their approval. As a result, we dare not say no to any of their requests.
There is nothing wrong in saying no. In fact, it is your right to say NO when your self-esteem is at stake. Don’t lose yourself in a bid to gain approval.
All you have to do is know what is right for you and be bold enough to say NO when necessary, this way your self-esteem is improved and respect accrued to you.
6. Set Healthy And Worthy Boundaries
Your boundaries represent your values. Setting healthy boundaries is a tool for earning your respect.
It doesn’t end at setting boundaries, we have to be firm when someone tries to cross boundaries. Also learn to communicate them without fear of negative reactions from people.
7. Follow Your Heart
Find out what your drive is, your passion and follow it. This is what spices up your life and makes it a wonderful one for you.